Dry January

As you may have seen in my 10 Things I’ve Learnt In 2018 post,  one of my New Year’s resolutions was to complete Dry January, which is a popular resolution for many every year. While I usually have a ‘dryer’ January every year anyway, I’d never officially completed Dry January, and I realised that I probably hadn’t had a month of drinking since I was about 17 years old.

I’ve never have the healthiest relationship with alcohol, and I think this is what motivated me to complete a whole month off drinking to see if I actually struggled to do it. I had my first couple of alcoholic drinks when I was 12 years old at my dad’s 50th birthday party, and I remember getting that buzz of confidence that I’d always longed for. After that, there were occasions at 13 and 14 when I used to drink with my friends in local parks, with one occasion resulting in my friend’s dad carrying me through my front door as I was too drunk to walk. I even tried to sneak a few cans of Strongbow into school because I was desperate to feel that confidence in class that I was always lacking. It’s easy now in hindsight to realise that I was struggling with anxiety throughout school, however until I had counselling in sixth form, alcohol was my only coping mechanism.

From 15/16, many of us in school were drinking regularly on a Friday night in the park, and it wasn’t until I went to university at 18 that I realised just how young I was when I started drinking. Some people at university were only just starting to get their first taste of going out and drinking, whilst I’d been going to house parties since I was 15 and had been going for nights out in Nottingham with my sister’s ID at 17. University drinking culture of course just helped me to continue using alcohol as a coping mechanism, and it’s so easy to get caught up in the social aspect of drinking. I definitely made many bad decisions whilst I was drunk, and my bank account certainly didn’t thank me for the amount I was spending!

After university, I struggled to get a job for a while, and it certainly brought back old negative feelings that I’d experienced before, but with the financial concerns on top of it all. Even when I got my first admin job, I would still look forward to Friday night when I could go out and enjoy myself, and I was definitely in a bad habit of drinking every Friday to Sunday. This was another factor that swayed me to quit by job and go travelling back in 2016/17. I was fed up of the same routine of going to work for not much money, and counting down the days until I could go out at the weekend. It was a bad habit and I needed a change. I was also starting to dislike the person I would become when I was drunk, often making decisions that I’d never make sober and then waking up full of self-loathing the next day. Travelling really did give me the chance to alleviate a lot of the causes of stress I was experiencing, and while I still enjoyed drinking and some nights out while I was away, it just felt like a sociable thing rather than a way to relieve stress.

Nowadays, I think I’m starting to get a healthier relationship with alcohol. I certainly don’t drink as much as I did during my university days, and while I still may have a bit too much than I intend some nights out, I think I’ve gotten better at recognising when I need to tone it down. I also really enjoyed completing Dry January and I didn’t struggle as much as I thought I would. For me, I love making plans that don’t involve drinking, and I only want a drink when plans involve nights out and things (as I really don’t think I’d be able to handle a sober night of dancing in a nightclub!). If anything, it was my friends who seemed more bothered about me not drinking than I was, which just goes to show how our social plans usually revolve around drinking. Instead, we enjoyed doing some other activities like escape rooms, lots of meals out, and going to London to see the Harry Potter and the Cursed Child plays.

I’m really pleased that I found Dry January as easy to complete as I did, and it’s reassured me that I can still be a fun person to spend time with, without having alcohol to help me. I think many people, especially in the UK, don’t recognise that they have a slight dependency on alcohol. We all have a judgmental image in our heads of what we picture an alcoholic to be like, however we don’t realise that many of our friends, relatives and coworkers can also be dependent on alcohol. While I’ve only ever drank on social occasions and never by myself at home, I know many people rely on having a glass of wine in the evenings to unwind. It’s taken me a while to admit to myself that I don’t always have a healthy relationship with alcohol, and it’s okay to recognise that and keep working on it. I don’t know if I could ever go full teetotal, as I will always enjoy drinking at certain occasions and the taste of alcoholic drinks, but I’m determined to get to the point where I have a 100% healthy relationship with booze.

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10 Things I’ve Learnt In 2018

I know we all say every year that we can’t believe how fast the year has gone, but it really doesn’t feel that long ago since I wrote my last end-of-year blog post! This time last year, I had just moved back to Sheffield to start my new job and everything felt a bit overwhelming, yet exciting. Now, one year on and feeling much more settled, I thought I would reflect on ten things I’ve learnt this year.

1. You are of value at work

I think many twenty-somethings like myself worry about their place at work, and often don’t realise how much value they can bring to a company. As I went through a lot of job rejections last year and then was temporarily made redundant at my current company earlier this year, it can make you feel pretty worthless. However, since getting kept on at my current role, taking on more responsibility and receiving good feedback, I am finally starting to believe that I can be an asset to a company and that I have a lot more useful skills than I realise.

2. You need to let yourself be happy too

All my life I’ve been a serious people-pleaser, and I’ve always worried about people not liking me or not being happy. This falls into my relationships too, where I let myself feel unhappy because I’m so worried about hurting the other person. However, as tough as upsetting someone is, I’ve learnt that you need to be honest with yourself and other people so that you can all move on and be happy.

3. You never stop making new friends

One thing I’ve loved most about this year is how many new people I’ve met and become close with. The great thing about starting a new job and moving into a house with new people is making new friendships, and I’ve been so lucky to become close friends already with my housemates and colleagues. It’s mad to thing that the people I spend the most time with these days are people I’ve only known for one year!

4. Veganism is amazing for your mind and body (and the environment!)

One of my New Year’s resolutions last year was to complete Veganuary. Not only did I go vegan for January, but I’ve actually carried on for the entire year. Now, I can’t imagine ever going back, as I’ve enjoyed it so much and I truly feel better knowing that I’m helping the environment and the welfare of animals through just the one simple change. Another huge factor that made me carry on the vegan lifestyle is the fantastic health benefits: my skin is clearer, I’ve got tons more energy, and it’s helped me lose a lot of fat!

5. My goals (however small) are achievable

As well as completing Veganuary, I set myself a few other New Year’s resolutions last year. I’m pleased to say that I’ve achieved them all, which is a great feeling! They included learning to do 1-5 pull-ups (I can now do a couple of sets of  3 at a time), being on my phone less (I’ve certainly been trying to stick to this) and visiting two countries (I ended up visiting 3!) I know a lot of people joke about people never sticking to New Year’s resolutions, but I think the key is to set small, achievable goals which you can measure easily. So for this year, I’ve chosen another health related month-long resolution of taking part in Dry January and another fitness-related resolution of learning to do pistol squats. 

6. It’s okay to hang out with yourself

This is quite an important one for me as growing up, I was always terrified of going to things by myself, even to the point that I would be nervous to pick a certain subject at school because I didn’t want to be in a class without a friend. Of course this has gotten better throughout the years since going away to university by myself, and flying to and from Thailand by myself last year, however I still think it’s something I’m working on. I’m certainly starting to get comfortable being by myself, and I am learning that it’s okay to go to the cinema or to a gig alone, or to even enjoy a meal on your own in public.

7. Everyone else goes through shit too

With everyone’s lives looking so perfect on social media, we forget that everyone else is going through stuff too. I’m  guilty of comparing my life to others and sometimes feeling a bit sorry for myself when me and my family are struggling, but we need to remember that we never know what’s going on behind closed doors. I’ve comforted many friends this year through relationship and job problems, to dealing with the death of loved ones, and it makes you realise that sadly we all go through problems. However, it’s important to turn that around and focus on the friends and family you are still to have around.

8. Exercise and hard work really does pay off

I’ve been documenting my physical journey throughout the year and it’s awesome seeing the progress I’ve made along the way. I’ve had down days where I’ve felt like I’m not seeing much difference in my physique, and then bam, another day you’ll be looking in the mirror and noticing all sorts of changes. It’s pleasing to see that hard work and dedication really does pay off, and I’m excited to continue getting stronger in the new year.

9. There’s no such thing as too many holidays

Of course, money dependent, there probably can be such a thing as too many holidays, but what I mean is that time spent travelling is invaluable experience. I ended up taking three holidays this year to Amsterdam, Malta and Germany, and although it’s stopped me saving as much money as I would have liked to this year, it was money and time well spent. With the cold weather continuing to creep in, I’m already starting to think where I could head to in 2019…

10. 2019 will be a good year

Okay, this isn’t something I’ve learnt, but it’s something I’m positive about. After quite a tough start last year losing my grandad, I’m confident that 2019 will hold good things. I’m finally in a more stable position in life, and I’m excited to see what will happen next. Happy New Year!