Laos: Trekking, Tubing & Mushroom Shakes

Laos was the one country I was visiting in Southeast Asia which I knew next to nothing about (other than my friends telling me how much fun tubing was), so I really didn’t know what to expect.

While most of our friends in Thailand were booking the longboat straight to Luang Prabang, we hopped on a cheap bus to Huay Xai (a tiny town found right at the Laos border), along with a fellow backpacker from Sweden.

As the Lonely Planet puts it, in Huay Xai, “the only things trafficked through are travellers en route to Luang Prabang.” We were unsure of our next move, so after chatting to Sophie the other traveller with us, we chose to book a bus with her further North to Luang Namtha.

Luang Namtha

Located right next to the beautiful Namha National Park, which is popular with tourists for jungle trekking, we were eager to get our hiking shoes on and see some amazing scenery. We opted for a two day jungle trek and kayak tour along with some friends before trying our first Laotian dish – Jao (I believe this is how it’s spelt!) This has to be one of my favourite Asian dishes so far. It may vary in other areas of Laos, but the one we had consisted of two sauce based dishes of your choice (I opted for peanut and tomato) and a big basket of sticky rice – delicious is an understatement for sure.

Jungle feast!

Trekking in the jungle has to be one of the most memorable and rewarding experiences of my trip so far, and I’m really glad I took part in it. The day of trekking was certainly challenging (our tour guides Hak and Mi were literally cutting some form of a path with machetes!) Having grown up in a local village nearby, Hak and Mi were experts in jungle life and it was fantastic to get off the beaten track a bit and see some awesome scenery. My favourite part of the experience was definitely the food. Our guides bought a few bits from the market beforehand (such as rice and vegetables) but also picked some fresh ingredients straight from the jungle. We ate with our hands straight off banana leaves and even drank out of cups freshly fashioned from bamboo! In the evening, we slept on the jungle floor, underneath a shelter made from sticks and banana leaves and enjoyed playing some guitar around a fire. This is also when we got to try the infamous ‘Laos Laos’ whiskey – now I’m not usually a whiskey fan, but a shot of this was just what I needed to warm me up and send me to sleep!

We welcomed a day of kayaking after a long day of trekking, and it was so much fun steering our way through the rapids and cooling off in the midday heat. Hak and Mi also took us to a local village there and told us all about the village lifestyle. It was wonderful to see so many excited children (6 of which attempted to fit on one bicycle!)

Luang Prabang

I was ready to get back into a thriving city with hot showers after a couple of days in the jungle. We arrived in Luang Prabang early the next day, after the craziest overnight bus ride of my life (think broken seats flying off from underneath you and people being sick into bags as you bounce along really windy roads). Confident that we’d be able to check into a hostel as soon as one opened, we grabbed some breakfast and a hot drink as we waited.

However this proved to be more difficult than we’d anticipated! Due to the Chinese New Year, pretty much everywhere had been booked up by Chinese tourists who go away to celebrate. Luckily, a group of four tourists overheard us asking a hostel if they had rooms and told us they were just about to check out and could have their beds – success!

For a relatively small sized city, Luang Prabang has a lot going on, so I can see why it’s a popular choice for Chinese holiday-goers to see in the New Year. Every evening, one of the main streets turns into a massive night market, full of tasty food and cheap goods. After a few beers at the night market, we’d usually head over to Utopia – a popular bar with backpackers. Once Utopia closes for the night, the crowd all descend to a nearby bowling alley (the only venue open after hours). If you’ve never seen a room full of drunken bowlers, then you need to get yourself to Luang Prabang, as it’s one of the funniest sights I’ve ever seen.

As it’s a small city, one of the best ways to get around is by bicycle, as you can follow a pretty route along the Mekong River around the city. We took our bicycles across the river to go visit the Pottery Village, however be warned, these city bikes are not designed for the bumpy dirt tracks and hills found on the other side!

A local showing us how to make a pot

The most popular tourist attraction in Luang Prabang is the waterfalls, which you can get to by tuk-tuk. We ended up missing this out, opting for some free attractions instead. Although I’ve heard amazing things about these waterfalls, so I’d definitely visit them if I came here again.

Highlights for us include the Wat Tham Phousi temple of Phousi Hill (great views of the city, especially at sunset) and the UXO Laos Visitor Center. While it’s easy to miss amongst the beautiful temples and riverside views, the UXO Visitor Centre is a must-see for anyone who wants to understand the harrowing effects of bombing in Laos. Little did I know before visiting, that Laos is the most heavily bombed country per capita in the world. The centre tells you all about the history of the bombing and the devastating effects it’s had and continues to have on many communities and families across Laos. It was an eye-opening visit which I will not forget.

View from Wat Tham Phousi

Vang Vieng

Home to the infamous tubing I’d heard about, Vang Vieng was the city I was most looking forward to visiting in Laos. However, our visit didn’t quite get off to the best start, as we discovered late at night that our booked hostel had given our beds away because we were an hour late! After discovering that most hostels were either closed for the night or booked up, we managed to find one with one bed available. Edd kindly let me take it, while the hostel owner let him sleep in a hammock outside for free – much to my friend’s delight! We also got treated to a late night meal from the owner and free breakfast the next day. Unfortunately Edd had gotten pretty ill in Luang Prabang and so we temporarily said our goodbyes as he hopped on a bus to Vientiane to go to hospital.

Suddenly I found myself feeling as nervous as I was in Bangkok and the thought of turning up to a hostel all on my own was frightening! I returned to our booked hostel, who luckily had beds available again, and the owner was very sympathetic; offering me a free night’s stay to make up for it. It wasn’t long before I got chatting to people in my dorm room and headed out with one of the girls to explore the town.

Before we knew it, we were heading back to the hostel to change into our bikinis to go tubing! I can definitely see why tubing is a popular activity in Vang Vieng – who doesn’t like the idea of floating in a rubber tube on a sunny day with a nice cold beverage in hand? The tubing takes place along a river where several bars are situated. You can choose to stop off at any bar you like for a drink before carrying on back down the river towards to town. It wasn’t long before me and my new friend were playing beer bong and downing numerous shots. That’s when the tubing becomes more challenging, especially with the slight current! It was in the next bar when we discovered that our ‘dry bag’ wasn’t quite so dry after all…

We hastily rushed back to the hostel and whacked our phones straight into a bowl of rice.

Ziplining in Vang Vieng

But not to let that ruin the night, we joined others in our hostel and took advantage of the free whiskey provided by our hostel between 7 and 10pm. After drunkenly losing a few games of foosball and pool, myself and a few others headed to one of the bars offering the infamous mushroom shakes. I hadn’t yet tried magic mushrooms, although I’ve heard a few good things about them from friends, so I was excited to give them a go. Usually I detest mushrooms, but they were pretty much undetectable in the pineapple flavoured shake. It was a fun and wonderful experience, and I actually woke up with make-up smudged under my eyes from laughing so much!

Other than activities like kayaking, tubing and ziplining, there isn’t much else to do in the center of Vang Vieng besides drinking and enjoying the sunshine. On our last day, my friend and I went ziplining over the forest and river before getting back in a tube to go through some caves. It was an awesome adrenaline-filled day, and we finished off with some cocktails at Smile Beach Bar on the riverfront.

View from Smile Beach Bar

Sadly we didn’t have time to visit the South of Laos, which I’m pretty gutted about after having such a blast in Luang Namtha, Luang Prabang and Vang Vieng. I was pleasantly surprised about Laos, and even though I’ve only seen a snippet of what the country has to offer, it’s definitely up there with one of the best countries I’ve visited so far.

 

North Thailand: Temples, Elephants, Waterfalls & Fire Shows

When I think of Thailand, I’d always just pictured beautiful white beaches, drug-fueled Full Moon parties and close encounters with elephants and tigers.

Knowing what my terrible sense of geography was like, my dad sent me on my way with a Lonely Planet travel guide, making me promise him that I’d do some research and not end up on the wrong flight.

Bangkok

I arrived in Bangkok in the late evening, and was already full of fear; what if I can’t find the hostel? What if I get mugged on the way? And what if some dodgy taxi driver drives to kidnap me?! But within minutes I was chatting away with my taxi driver and my nerves soon turned into excitement.

After a few failed attempts at teaching me how to say ‘thank you’ in Thai, we made it to my hostel, where I was reunited with my friend, who had already made a few other friends in the hostel.

Despite being exhausted from the journey, we soon found ourselves wandering down the infamous Khao San Road; a chaotic jungle of street vendors, bars and restaurants, selling everything from cocktail buckets and scorched scorpions to handmade ‘I love pussy’ wristbands and ping-pong shows.

Somehow the scorpions didn’t quite have the same appeal as the buckets, so we bought some mojitos before calling it a night!

After the mayhem of Khao San Road, we decided it was probably time to explore the sights, and prove to my dad that I wasn’t just going away to get drunk all the time.

I’d been told by friends who had been to Bangkok before that ‘it was a shithole, but a loveable shithole’, so it’s safe to say that my expectations of the city hadn’t been that high. However there are loads of wonderful things to see without venturing too far out of the city.

We splashed out on the Grand Palace Complex and Wat Phra Kaew, which the Lonely Planet insists is the must-see attraction in Bangkok. Both of course had stunning architecture (although you couldn’t get very close to the palace itself) but we found ourselves enjoying some of the smaller attractions much more.

It was a massive relief to be greeted by a calm and relatively empty Wat Pho/Reclining Buddha after the crowded palace complex, and the Buddha was overwhelmingly impressive in size.

Another highlight for us was the Golden Mount, which, situated atop Bangkok’s only hill, gave us a fantastic view of the city.


On our last day, we decided to have a break from the temples and visit the Chatuchak Market, one of the largest weekend markets in the world. The market is far bigger than I ever imagined and features several different sections, including food, clothing, pets, electronics and more.

We treated ourselves to some tasty fruit smoothies and street food before finishing off the day with a relaxing boat trip down the Chao Phraya river.

Chiang Mai

One overnight bus later we arrived in Chiang Mai along with several other travellers at 4.30am. Longing to get to our hostel beds, we hopped in a taxi only to find our hostel was shut for the night.

Unlike the streets of Bangkok where you can buy cheap street food until the early hours, Chiang Mai goes to sleep around midnight, so we resorted to buying a cheap pot noodle from a local supermarket.

The first thing I was keen to do in Chiang Mai was to get up close and personal with some elephants. As I was fully aware about the animal cruelty surrounding certain elephant camps in South East Asia, I specifically chose a sanctuary which didn’t offer riding and had good reviews online. I did the half-day tour, where you got to feed and wash the elephants before having a swim in a nearby waterfall.

It was wonderful to finally see elephants up close, however I can’t help but still worry about the way they’re treated, although the staff did seem very caring towards them. I think next time, I will do further research and choose one of the proper care homes where you just get to see the elephants wander around rather than taking part in the organised activities with them.


After a good night’s rest we visited a few local temples, including Wha Phra Sing, before stumbling across a beautiful park in the heart of the city. With pretty flowers and fountains everywhere, the park is a popular spot for yoga and we found ourselves surrounded by yoga and circus enthusiasts taking part in an acro-yoga festival.

Sitting next to the water, it was a perfect spot to enjoy a bit of afternoon relaxing and reading.


Desperate to get out of the city and into the countryside, we rented a scooter and drove out to the nearby nature park for some trekking and sightseeing.

On the drive up, we stopped off at the Phuphing Palace, next to the Wat Phra That Doi Suthep temple. While you can’t go into the palace itself, you do get to look around the beautiful gardens with the most colourful floral displays you can imagine.

The nature trekking trail led us to a fantastic viewpoint where we could really appreciate the vast size of the forest. We decided to cool off with a dip in a little waterfall pool we found, which was certainly refreshing after walking around in the heat!

Pai

If there’s anywhere in Northern Thailand I was most excited to visit it was Pai. Promises of a hippy paradise did not disappoint, and as soon as we arrived we knew the windy and bumpy road journey there was worth it.

In Pai, it’s a popular choice to rent scooters and explore the pretty scenery around the small town, however we opted to just do an all day tour which included bamboo rafting and exploring the nearby caves, a viewpoint, hot springs and a waterfall before finishing off at the canyon to see the sunset.

I was surprised they managed to fit so many activities into one day, but it was a fantastic day from start to finish. Local tour guides took us through the caves, and although they couldn’t speak much English, they delighted in pointing out rock formations in the shapes of various animals like snakes, crocodiles and elephants. Our tour lady even giggled away after pointing out a rock that looked like a breast!

The highlight of the day for me had to be the hot springs and the canyon – the sunset was just beautiful.

The following day we moved hostel to the Famous Circus Hostel, where we were eager to meet up with some friends from Chiang Mai. Circus is the perfect hostel for relaxing in the day and socialising at night. It was great to finally get in a bikini and enjoy some sun by the pool – although I made the classic British mistake of getting burnt to a crisp on the first day. But it was nothing a little aftersun couldn’t sort out!


The Circus Hostel features different activities every night, from fire shows to beer pong tournaments.

On our first night, we watched a fire show where performers did poi, staff and hula-hooping. Being a poi enthusiast himself, my friend  Edd performed some fire poi as part of the show as well.

Like Chiang Mai, the bars in Pai close around midnight, however one bar, Don’t Cry, stays open until the early hours. So most nights we found ourselves following the sea of glitter-clad travellers to Don’t Cry for some more drinking and dancing.


Pai was the perfect place to rejuvenate after the hustle and bustle of Bangkok and Chiang Mai and it is certainly my favourite place out of the three.

Although we only visited a snippet of north Thailand, it’s been the perfect start to my Southeast Asia travels and I’m already certain that I’ll be back here again!

A Year Later

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Wow, hasn’t 2016 just flown by?! And with Brexit, Trump and a ridiculous number of famous deaths, it’s safe to say some of us are happy to see the back of it.

This time last year I was getting ready to begin my new job as a Marketing Executive and Content Writer. Although I was scribbling away on WordPress all year, my fingers were busy writing away for work and A Woman Of No Importance took a bit of a back seat!

But I’m determined to get this blog back up and running for good, and 2017 will be dedicated to lots of writing. I’ve just left my job to do a bit of travelling around South East Asia, and I couldn’t be more excited as I get ready to fly in two days! Ever since I graduated from university in 2015, I’ve had the travel bug niggling away at me as I desperately to save some money and clear my student overdraft. However a year down the line and I’m not any closer towards saving for a dream house, and with no man in my life tying me down, it seemed like the right move to join some friends in South East Asia and enjoy a well-needed break!

So it’s hello again from me, and a 2017 promise to myself that I will stick to this new year’s resolution: Write a blog post once a month. 

…We’ll see how long that lasts hey!

In the near future, you can expect some posts and pictures from my travels – which I’ll try and keep interesting!

 

Winning NaNoWriMo 2015!

So I’ve just finished taking part in National Novel Writing Month, more commonly known as NaNoWriMo, and I can proudly say that I am a 2015 winner! The challenge requires you to write a 50,000 word novel in the 30 days of November, which equates to 1,667 words a day to reach the daily target. It’s safe to say that I have NEVER written such a lengthy piece in my life – the closest thing probably being my 10, 000 word dissertation in my final year of university. NaNoWriMo was introduced to me by my friend, who has taken part in previous years before. We decided to motivate each other to hit the target, and ended up getting quite competitive! We’d often reach way over the target word count for the day after checking each other’s word counts on the NaNoWriMo site before quickly slamming out another 1000 words to beat them.

In the first few days, I was already worrying about reaching the daily word counts and the final goal of 50,000 felt unachievable and just incomprehensible to me. However, I soon found the daily ritual of writing weirdly addictive. I’ve always enjoyed writing, but I would often wait around like Isaac Newton for inspiration to hit me on the head like an apple. The main thing I have learnt first-hand from taking part in NaNoWriMo is that writing should almost be treated like a 9-5 job. To quote Stephen King:

‘“Amateurs sit and wait for inspiration, the rest of us just get up and go to work.”

When I first read this in On Writing I wasn’t sure that I fully agreed with King; surely all writers have to wait for some inspiration or the next grand novel idea to hit them like the apple? However, I’ve since realised that ‘waiting for inspiration’ was always just an excuse that I would give myself for not keeping up with writing. I started NaNoWriMo with just a brief novel idea, and a small amount of planning. Previously, I have always just jumped straight into the writing once I have an idea, and this usually results in an incomplete piece of fiction that I never return to. So for NaNoWriMo, I decided to take the time to plan properly, so that I wouldn’t risk the feared writer’s block! Using the forums for some ideas, I decided to use Lazette Gifford’s ‘Phase Outline’ technique which involves writing little bullet point ‘phases’ that are usually around 20 words long. In these phases, you simply outline whaNaNo-2015-Winner-Certificate-Fullt is happening in that section. When it comes to writing the phase up, you then add in all the detail and dialogue etc. so a phase that’s 20 words long, soon becomes 200-500 words and so forth. I found this to be a really effective technique for someone like me, who always gets a sudden writing block after jumping in too early and then struggles to see where the story is headed. Using this technique even led me to discover that I’d put in a red herring unknowingly, which then tied up the end of the novel perfectly!

Clearly, writing in such a quick amount of time has no doubt left me with a hefty amount of editing to do once I’m ready to face the words again, but hopefully this will all be part of the fun! It’s safe to say that NaNoWriMo has changed my ability to write for the better. Although the standard is nowhere near up to scratch yet, this challenge has flung me face-forward into writing again, and for this I am so grateful.

Certificate

The Twenty-Something Predicament

Since graduating from university, I have found myself entering a terrifying limbo between student and young professional that I term ‘the twenty-something predicament’. This position, occupied by so many other graduates my age, leaves you feeling younger and almost more naive than when you were innocently panicking about what colour cutlery you should buy for the start of university.  It’s the dawning realisation that there is no longer a logical next step planned ahead for you, and the even scarier realisation that you will now be viewed by other people as an ‘adult’.

Yet this ‘adulting’ still feels like you’re trying on a jumper that is two sizes too big, and you find yourself still looking for an older, more adulty adult to tell you what to do and how to do it.

You feel like an inbetweener; suspended between the student life of daytime napping and week day hangovers and the adult life of council tax and responsibility.

Arguably, the scariest realisation after graduating is the prospect of working a low paid 9-5 job that is far from the exciting career you had in mind. You begin to panic when family members and old school friends ask you the dreaded question:

‘So, what are you doing now?’

At first you try to justify your low paid admin job with ramblings of travelling and saving plans, in an attempt to convince the questioner (and yourself), that this job is only temporary, and that you haven’t spent near to 2 and a half months trolling through countless job sites to find that perfect graduate opportunity.

Even when you do apply for these graduate jobs, or get as far as an interview, you find yourself hearing echoes of:

‘You don’t have enough experience’.

This encapsulates the endless paradox faced by all young people looking for work – you need experience to get experience. Throughout school, it is drilled into you that you need to get GCSE’s in order to get A Levels, in order to get to university and get a degree. However, no one prepares you for the reality of the working world, where well paid jobs often require both a decent degree and bags of experience. The result? Herds of inexperienced graduates with first class degrees stumbling into the world of work, often unable to bag themselves a basic office job let alone a permanent graduate opportunity.

You soon realise that your degree does not land you with an amazing job straight out of uni, but that you need to work your way up the job ladder just like everyone else. It leaves you feeling as though you are not quite ready to fill the shoes of the ‘young professional’ role, especially when just a few months ago you were eating supernoodles out of a pan in your onesie at 2.35 on a Wednesday afternoon.

And that is the twenty-something predicament; the quarter life crisis; the ‘what on earth am I doing now’ scenario.

My Response to Farage’s Thoughts on the NHS

In 2012, a video was leaked staring UKIP leader Nigel Farage telling UKIP supports his views on the NHS and UK healthcare. He is quoted to say “I think we are going to have to move to an insurance-based system of healthcare. Frankly, I would feel more comfortable that my money would return value if I was able to do that through the marketplace of an insurance company, than just us trustingly giving £100bn a year to central government and expecting them to organise the healthcare service from cradle to grave for us.” (The Independent).

The belief that the UK would benefit from a privatized healthcare system is extremely problematic. A minority of UK citizens may have had the fortune of never having needed to use the NHS for any long-term illness, suffered by themselves or close friends or family. I on the other hand, have had experience with the NHS and all their valuable services for the majority of my life. When I was 10, my mother died of breast cancer at 47 years old, having battled with the disease on and off for several years. At one point, we were even told that she was clear of cancer, before it sadly returned and tragically took her life. Throughout her years suffering with cancer, I distinctly remember numerous trips to Nottingham City Hospital, where she often had to spend a few nights or get chemotherapy treatment. As well as the upsetting memories I possess of her in hospital, I also have memories of caring, wonderful staff, who my mother was always fond of. My family have always struggled to meet ends financially, but through the NHS we were rewarded with a few extra years to spend with my mum, even enjoying fantastic holidays to Spain and Cyprus when her cancer was in its better stages. Without the NHS, it’s likely that we would have lost her a lot sooner due to the cost of health insurance and treatment.

Ten years later, and I’ve now been revisiting the same hospital, where my dad has been recovering from a stroke he had on Christmas Eve. Yet again, the staff have been incredible. Despite having to work on Christmas Day, the staff at the hospital were friendly and cheerful, supplying the patients with a Christmas-style dinner and crackers (much to our delight) to keep everyone’s spirits up. The hospital even featured a ‘League of Friends’ who delivered presents to the patients; my dad received aftershave, a tie and a Christmas card! This gesture may sound like a small one, but for my family, who had all our Christmas plans sadly disrupted, it really meant a lot knowing that the staff were going out of their way to look after my dad. During the time my dad has spent at the hospital, he has made countless friends with the staff, including a favourite nurse who puts up with his repeated jokes, and his physio. His physio even took the time to find myself and my dad’s partner to show us how we could perform a massage on my dad’s hand (which he had lost all movement and feeling in) to help regain some movement. My dad also told me how the physio took a moment to enjoy a coffee and chocolate with him – his favourite part of the day! It’s little acts like this that make me truly realise how valuable the NHS is for many families and individuals. It is a unique part of British culture that makes me proud to be part of a nation that can help people from any background to prolong and save lives.

As well as benefiting my family greatly for the illnesses suffered by my parents, the NHS has also provided myself and my sister with mental health care. Back when we were in school, my sister and I were both diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and we both had difficulty coming to terms with our mother’s death. For this, we were offered counselling services and treatment, which has helped us both tremendously. We are both now happy and confident, and have rediscovered our love of studying, resulting in us both studying at university. Without the counselling, who knows if either of us would even have continued to stay at school, let alone enroll at university. At my university now, I am still able to see a doctor regularly for check ups on my mental well-being; something I truly value when university and family life gets stressful.

Overall, the NHS benefits the lives of countless people and families across the UK. Without it, who knows where our lives would be, or who wouldn’t even be in them. If it wasn’t for the chemotherapy my mother received, we may not have had our memorable holiday in Cyprus just before she died. If the ambulance hadn’t arrived in time for my dad, and if he wasn’t able to stay in the hospital for as long as he has, who knows what state of health he would be in now. I know that it is not just my family that is extremely grateful for the invaluable care provided for the NHS, and I only hope that this fantastic service continues, free of charge.

Are You A Beaver? Cos Dam – Tinder Tales.

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I’ve recently made the mistake of getting the ‘app’ ‘Tinder’ again. I say again, as I had this app briefly during my second year of university, but soon deleted it after my friends caused mayhem on my account. For those who don’t know, Tinder is a dating app, self described as ‘the fun way to connect with new and interesting people around you. Swipe right to like or left to pass. If someone likes you back, it’s a match!’ Sounds simple enough.

I first heard about this app at the beginning of 2014, after seeing a couple of my housemates swiping to and fro in front of the TV most evenings. We would often go on each other’s accounts, unleashing witty and crude comebacks to cheesy pick up lines from males, usually along the lines of ‘Are you a beaver? Cos dam’. It seemed harmless enough, and so I decided to get it myself. I soon realised that I didn’t quite get the point of this app, after constantly swiping right just because someone had a pet in their picture or had dressed up as the nerdy character Moss from the TV show ‘The IT Crowd’. This, in addition to my friends deciding to swipe ‘yes’ for everyone that popped up one drunken night, led to over 100 matches and a phone that never stopped going off. We eventually all got bored and the app was soon deleted.

A few days ago however, I decided to get it again, after hearing a friend having talked about using it recently. They also told me that they knew couples who had successfully met and started dating through Tinder. Why not try using it properly this time? I thought, you never know. So I tried to be pickier this time around, and I only swiped right for a couple of people before starting a conversation with someone. Let’s call him Tim. Tim seemed nice enough, had similar interests and we kept a conversation up for the rest of the day. Suddenly at the end of the day, he started asking me to send him photos so he could ‘see what it is he’s dealing with’. Although I knew that Tinder had a reputation for being a ‘sex app’, it’s safe to say that this is not what I was expecting on my first day of using it. I politely declined, and made excuses about going to bed, planning to end the conversation for good. However, the next day I woke up to a blunt message from Tim: ‘Guess we’re not talking anymore then’, before stating that he ‘was looking for something physical and nothing long term’. I responded telling him that I didn’t even know what I was looking for yet, as I’ve only had the app for one day, but it all felt a bit much what he was asking me, and that I was sorry, but wasn’t interested. This is when things took a turn for the worse. Tim started to get really angry at me, accusing me of ‘leading him on’, and telling me that I ‘should have been honest from the beginning’.

As well as being extremely baffled as to how I led him on, I was also now pretty angry. Why do some guys feel that they have the right to ask girls they have never met to send them explicit photographs of themselves? And why then do they feel that it is acceptable to have a go at the girl because it is thrown back in their face?

This is pretty much how I responded to Tim; I told him I was sick of guys expecting girls to do things for them and thinking it’s okay to then harass and insult them once they are denied. I blocked him after this, so fortunately I don’t know what torrent of further verbal abuse he had in store, but I’m gad to be rid of him.

So after two attempts at ‘tindering’, it’s safe to say that I’ve given up, yet again. As I’m aware, many people are successful on this dating app, and maybe it is possible if you persevere. Maybe this app is also for the thick skinned, who are better at ignoring or shooting down the idiotic, egotistical males. I don’t know whether I ‘led’ Tim on or not. Maybe I should have been more explicit in saying ‘no’ rather than skirting around the subject and trying to ignore him. However, I still stand by the fact that no one deserves to be shouted at simply for refusing to expose themselves to a complete stranger.